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Frozen Still

Why can’t I
Get close to anyone?

That which is supposed to be
Innate for us humans

As natural as breathing
Like dolphins swimming

I’ve always been thinking
If I’ll ever genuinely feel

Even if not now
Maybe not even soon

Probably later but
Will someone be willing

To wait for that moment
I can start feeling?

Free swinging
My heart defrosting

Maybe even
Loving?

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Infatuation

My mind is out of ease
Inside me exists
a longing

My brain is pleading
and praying
My heart is burning
and racing

I want something
I’ve been searching
For a long time now
it’s missing

That one thing
I’ve waited for
Through tough times
and hopeless moments

To lift me up and
take me away
Over the rainbow and
beyond the glittering waters

That feeling I thought
had passed
Gone for good
Buried in the past
Forgotten as if
there never was

Then there was you
You with those animated eyes
full of meaning
Like a deep ocean
alluring

There’s a certain mystery
that mesmerize me
Your every move
captivates me

I’d go up and above the moon
Just for a chance
to see you soon

You are infatuating

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Unexpected You

Unexpected
Yes, you were
But I had this feeling
We’ll see each other

It’s funny how things can unfold
This morning there was nobody
But somehow you came to be
The apple of my eye instantly

I believe between you and I
Exists a special connection
When our eyes met
There were no objections

All in my head
I tried to dismiss it
However I know it’s true
Honestly I am attracted to you

I can’t speak for you
But can it really be true?
When I sneak a peek at you
You seem to be looking at me too

Out of shyness I look away
But I want to engage you
In your staring game
Maybe then you will smile my way

It’s tough to let this go
But I have to try and balance my ego
I’ll just stay and keep my cool
So I won’t be another random fool

The day is almost over
Somehow our stares continue to linger
Should I make a move?
At this rate I’ll lose you for good

So I went ahead to approach you
Close enough that I can even touch you
You flashed a smile and I smiled back
But I panicked and walked straight past

It’s a shame how things had happened
Stupid. I know people will say
Maybe we’ll meet again one day
I just hope you won’t be a needle in the hay

One thing I’ll never forget
Your piercing eyes staring at me
With such an undeniable intensity
Because somehow luck was with me

I found you in one photo
With those eyes I just love gazing into
Yes how lucky of me and
Oh how unexpected of you

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Dreaming

I overslept again
Alarm in a loop
I should wake up
or at least move
but I refuse to

All because of a dream
My very beautiful dream
One sudden shift and
the dream is over
A mere fantasy lost forever

Dreams I rarely remember
But this one I hope to
never forget because
once in a while dreams can be
a little bit better than reality

So I guess it’s true
I must still think about you
Consciously, I’m in denial
but subconsciously, still
I dream of you

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We, Us, Ours

I find myself
missing you again

One more time
You invaded my dreams

Even at this moment
you’re all I think about

All of a sudden
I feel nostalgic

I wish I can go back
Back to our sweet moments

When you and me
was our reality

When the word us
was everything but fantasy

I do not intend to
change what happened

I’m not holding on
to moments long gone

This is the present
Lessons learned I realize

I just want to relive
those times we can call ours

To simply cherish our
limited time together

When words like we,
us and ours make sense

When I cannot stand
alone without you

I miss that, I miss you,
Simply put, I miss us

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Irony and Sarcasm

No one knows
the extent of
my sadness

Dark emotions course
deep in my veins
pumped by my weary heart

I am the face
of disappointments
and dreams shattered

My passion burns like
fire through fresh leaves
Weak and fleeting

I grew up thinking
I can do anything
Now I have nothing

Regret was never
my style but I have
always been ironic

I treated everything
with sarcasm now
life seems nothing but

Ironies and sarcasms

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A post about how Filipinos from Balayan, Batangas celebrate the Catholic event Semana Santa more commonly known as Holy Week. It includes my personal thoughts and experiences.

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One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the…

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Loss

I hate losing things
It reminds me how weak I am
It makes me sick
I am simply pathetic

It’s not just how much I lost
It’s also about my pride
I feel humiliated
I am disgusted

I’ve been robbed
Not only financially
Even more emotionally
I want to punch somebody

Today, I lost
I was defeated
But I still have tomorrow
You? I don’t think so.

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Same Old Heart

I pour my heart out in poems
Words I cannot say, I write
Filled with emotions I tend to hide

Fireworks were my messengers
Lighting up the sky then burning off
Pieces of my fragmented heart

Alcohol was my companion
Drowning my feelings
And all those bitter memories

In the awful hangover
I went through after
I wanted specific things forgotten

All my heart needs now are
New beginnings
Not renewal of past feelings

I thought I’ve let go but
The feelings sealed within my poetry
Clearly didn’t make the delivery

All I still think about is you