The allure of the sea
is completely different
at night
The familiar salty breeze
caressing my skin
corrodes thoughts
more than usual
As far as I look
a stretch of darkness
An immediate fright
broken only
with alien lights
twinkling on the
indefinite horizon
I don’t know where
the sea ends and
the sky starts
A mystery brought
by this impenetrable night
With the crashing waves
In this moonless evening
The vastness of everything
leaves my thoughts and emotions
stirring
Just when the tides of darkness
was about to swallow my being
I felt a tap on my shoulder
“Let’s go”
I forgot one thing
This time,
I am not alone
I never thought
I would find
a brand of love
echoing my own
It’s hard to define
Not easy to grasp
It is one I have
struggled to refine
Where distance
plays a major part
to keep us from
collapsing on
ourselves
A balance of
esoteric proportions
Unorthodox
But to us,
familiar
Even
intimate.
As ironic as
that may sound
The two of us
understand,
believe and
love
Connected like
binary stars
in a distant galaxy
People can only
theorize how
our system works
As we both
shine brighter
with the passage
of time
Two stars
but in fact only
one
They say summer is made up of long days and short nights. I feel, however, mine consists of long days and even longer nights. Days of relentless heat searing my skin and peeling away layers of my already thin body. I would waste away long after the sun has set, my heart left bare coming into the night. Nights spent sitting by the window for a small reprieve from the battering heat of the day, but not without an ill wind carrying useless memories and unreasonable thoughts in between moments of looking at my empty bed and then out to the heavens thinking how much longer will I be able to take this. I glance at the clock and realize barely ten minutes have passed. This summer is proving to be such a struggle, unlike every other in years past. I can’t imagine how I’d fair in the rainy season. With its dragging days and long chilly nights, there is no escaping loneliness. But that’s about a month from now.
I have to get through summer first.
Shades of red fill my head
Viscous thoughts
impossible to escape
All I’m able to do is give in
As I feel it oozing out of me
From my mind through my body
Imagination transitions to reality
I watch as blood trickle from my wrists
Shades of red in my eyes
My crimson thoughts materialize
In all my writings
I just want to say one thing
Fuck, I am lonely
I gazed up into the heavens one night
As a sort of reprieve from being down
I saw the crescent moon
Radiant against the black velvet sky
Despite its magnificence
What captured my thoughts was this
An eye flushed with tears
Looking down
Staring away
Even gods experience sadness
Unable to look to the heavens
They stare down the earth
With tears welling up
Glimmering jewels in the night
At the edge of my sight
I notice something fall
A shooting star?
No.
Tears
If only I smiled
each moment our eyes met
You might have smiled back and
we ended up as friends
If only I let my guard down
be my stripped-off self
Maybe you would have noticed me
Flaws and all, but also true and free
If only I said hi,
wished you luck or even just goodbye
That could have been our moment together
Or at least an impression left to remember
Dear Luna,
Come, face the light
Luna, darling
Reveal your maria
The sun scorches, I know
Your flaws and scars
They show
But my dear, please recognize
You are the moon
A pearl in the ocean of blackness
Even though sunlight burns
when reflected through you
Rays shine like no other
A curtain of silvery inspiration
From darkness
A transition
As you embrace all radiation
Gaea appreciates
your compelling illumination
I am once more
in the writhing path of
lies and deceit
Endless trails of shadows
foreboding
Unkempt terrain
Nothing is certain
Leaves fall
Exsiccated on the floor
Earth devours the truth
Never will it take the same form
I ventured in darkness too deep
A labyrinth
of lies and deceit
By my trembling hands
truth is entombed
Benumbed
I carry on
Because I need to have my bitches here…
Thanks for this, Gail! You’re always the sweetest. I’m sorry I haven’t let any of you in here even after all the things we’ve been through. Even after almost ten years of friendship, I’m still too introverted to reveal sides of myself. It’s strange, our friendship. I don’t know how an introvert like me ended up in the middle of extroverts like you. Maybe because we always get drunk as hell, nothing else mattered. Maybe there is no introvert or extrovert in friendship. Maybe you understand me better than I understand myself. I guess I don’t really have an answer and I don’t need one. After all, what matters is that we are great friends despite, or because of, our differences. I love you, gabviche.